Emmie Mears
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A Beautiful Whatsit

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A Beautiful Whatsit

Do you ever have one of those moments where you step on the scale and go, “Whooaaa, Nelly. You’ve officially gained fifteen pounds since the wedding.”

Nelly SweatSuit

Nelly. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had a one of those this morning. It comes from several things. First, a permanent state of denial about my metabolism’s ability to do its job. Some people can eat till the cows come home and manage to be scrawny forever. Me? Not so much. Second, I have a difficult time saying no to burgers. Thick, juicy, medium rare prime Angus meat? Yeah, throw some pepper jack cheese and avocado on there with some pico, and I’ll give you anything you want. Third, whatever hormone it is that convinces women post-birthing that labor wasn’t really that bad seems to work in me to make me forget how good I feel when I’m working out regularly.

Cover of "Bliss"

What I really feel like with a regular exercise regimen ^^^. What my brain remembers: iron maidens and thumbscrews. (Cover of Bliss)

So that leaves me waking up today with the scale rapidly approaching the highest number its ever seen. Yikes.

And I realized that there is a nice little metaphor in there, in spite of the weight I’ve accumulated. Ready?

Dreams are like weight loss goals. They’re there, each New Year sees them getting a cursory once over and a few weeks of renewed striving only to dive into that chocolate box sometime around Valentine’s Day. You forget how good it feels when you’re working toward them and succeeding, because dizzam, does that burger taste delicious. And you really need to catch up on The Bachelor, because you missed the last two episodes. So whatever it is you’re doing can wait.

They’re both a source of guilt. Each time buttoning your “fat jeans” feels tighter, you think, “Okay. Tomorrow something’s going to change. Tomorrow I gotta get on this for real.” Same thing with opening a Word Document and realizing it hasn’t been modified in three months when you said you were going to work on it every day. Both might see you with your face in Edy’s (or Dreyer’s if you’re west of the Rockies) Butterfinger ice cream while the tears of self-recrimination drip onto the candy swirl.

Pure, liquid Kryptonite.

We don’t like to admit that it’s all us. There is precisely one person and one person alone who muddles up the water of your goals. That’s you. We, as humans, like to have scapegoats. “American food is all so full of calories! How do I lose weight eating this stuff?” “My dog ate my manuscript. Woe is me!” But really, what we’re saying is that we lack self-control. I lack self-control. Hell, sometimes I self-sabotage. We all do.

The other day, I said that reaching goals is about vision, plan, and discipline. You can’t have the plan without the vision, and discipline with no end goal doesn’t accomplish much. So whatever it is that gives you focus, use it. For me, it was seeing a number on the scale I thought I’d never in my life see again. It snapped me out of the denial of thinking the scale was just wrong (sometimes it fluctuates wildly — by like ten pounds) and made me realize that as usual, my mental and physical state corresponds to how productive a writer I am.

I need focus. I need structure. Most of us do, to some extent.

So today I’ll wrap up with an award I got last week from Amanda Leigh. It’s both a humbling reminder to myself to get some focus back and a nod to the work I’ve already done.

I’d also like to say that I am tremendously grateful to this community of bloggers here on WordPress. Yesterday I woke up to a very, very generous gift from a fellow blogger who I have never met in person. We have a great group of people here, and all I can say is that I will pay it forward when I am able.

Ms. Amanda graced me with the Beautiful Blogger Award!

Here are the rules. Thank the giver (thank you Amanda!), share seven things about yourself, and pass the blog along to seven people.

Okay. Seven things about me…

1. I make killer guacamole.

2. I tend to tear up when I hear Gaelic, which may or may not make it a difficult language for me to learn.

3. I want to learn Welsh.

4. I have plans for some very serious tattooage.

5. When I got my ears pierced, it took three years for them to heal properly (I had difficulties with certain metals).

6. As a teen, I loved Marilyn Manson, Korn, Nine Inch Nails, Limp Bizkit, Fuel, and Rob Zombie. (And to be honest, I still do.)

7. My first big concert was Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill tour, and she used to star on my favorite Nickelodeon show, You Can’t Do That on Television!

Alrighty, seven bloggers. These are some blogs I always enjoy reading. Sorry if you all have gotten this award before!

1. Patricia Sands

2. Kristin McFarland

3. Anna Meade

4. Angie Richmond

5. August McLaughlin

6. Lillie McFerrin

7. Anonymous Legacy

These seven women are people who are not only beautiful outside and in, but they make an effort to help others, whether in improving their writing, supporting important causes, or simply encouraging creativity and a spirit of wonder. They’re all truly magnificent women that YOU should get to know.

So today, I’m going to set a couple of goals.

1. Learn from others.

2. Drink at least eight glasses of water.

3. Write at least 2,000 words.

4. Dance about.

What little goals will you set today to help you regain (or maintain) focus on your goals? What wisdom helps you stay disciplined?

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Author | Emmie Comments | 14 Date | May 24, 2012

comments

August McLaughlin

Your worda are as lovely as the award. Such an honor, Emmie. Thanks! Hmm… And I’ll love your guacamole recipe. 😉

May 24, 2012 | 1:09 pm

    Emmie Mears

    I usually make it at the same time as I make pico, so here goes:

    Pico de Gallo

    6-8 plum tomatoes (you don’t want them too ripe), diced
    1/2 medium red onion, finely chopped
    2 cloves garlic, minced
    juice of one lime
    sea salt or kosher salt
    1 serrano chile
    CILANTRO 🙂

    Throw it all in a bowl and mix it up. Then for the guacamole…

    3-5 ripe avocados
    1 – 1/2 cups pico
    juice of one lime
    CILANTRO! 😀

    Mush up the avocados, stir in the pico, add the lime juice and salt and cilantro to taste. Two birds, one delicious stone. 🙂

    May 24, 2012 | 1:14 pm

crubin

In terms of staying disciplined in my writing, I tell myself I only have to write 500 words. I usually always do more, but it takes the pressure off me on those days I don’t feel productive. If I know I don’t have to write much and what I do write doesn’t have to be good, it’s much easier to open that Scrivener file and get moving. And it almost always turns out better than I anticipated. Oh, and I like your “dance about” goal. 🙂

May 24, 2012 | 1:43 pm

    Emmie Mears

    I need to get my Mac fixed so I can use Scrivener again. Word gets on my nerves too much.

    May 24, 2012 | 1:58 pm

      crubin

      I have Scrivener for Word, and so far, so good. I’m just worried when it comes time to compile my WIP and format it into a Word document, that I’ll have problems. I’ve heard there can be issues with that.

      May 24, 2012 | 2:52 pm

patriciasands

Thanks for the lovely award, Emmie! Your words about weight loss rang all too true … most of us can relate! My big “issue” is chocolate – gotta have it! However I promised myself to leave sugar alone for three months and in two weeks I dropped 5 lbs. Do you know how much sugar there is in milk ??? It seems my daily habit of a Starbucks Caffé Mocca (never with whipped cream either) was not exactly something that would be labelled a “wise choice”. So I’ve convinced myself I like herbal tea just as much (… not!) and will stay the course. Thanks for those recipes too! Double bonus in this post!

May 24, 2012 | 2:46 pm

alienredqueen

HELL to the YEAH for number 6! Just missing Tool, Alice in Chains, and Soundgarden and it’d be perfect! 😉

May 24, 2012 | 2:50 pm

alienredqueen

PS. I recognize that I do get in the way of my own goals, but I am seriously trying to find balance between family (which includes home and cooking and chores), exercising and volleyball, writing, and dealing with my sleep issues and headaches. Basically, I feel terrible when I am on the computer and my child is crawling into my lap trying to get my attention. I could wait til she sleeps but usually I am up half the night either with her or because I am hungry or unable to sleep, so then when she sleeps I either nap or blog or exercise. It’s like there aren’t enough hours in the day. My ‘novel” really does seem to come last, but I don’t know what to do about it. Suggestions? (Plus I am terrified of failing again; failing to finish, failing to know where to take the story.etc.etc)

May 24, 2012 | 2:59 pm

    Emmie Mears

    I don’t know if you are able to do this, but is there a time you could set aside to get out of the house? Go to Starbucks or Panera alone, leave el bambino with the other parental unit, and just set aside time for your novel once or twice a week? Even if it’s just an hour and a half, having that time without distractions is invaluable.

    Or you could tell yourself that you can’t write your blog until you’ve written a two hundred words on your novel. If you have time to blog, you have time for the WIP. 🙂 Good luck!

    May 24, 2012 | 3:37 pm

      alienredqueen

      I should go to the sushi joint down the street and write there. Wish I could afford to do that every night. :/

      May 24, 2012 | 3:52 pm

Adriana Ryan

Ah Emmie, at least you feel good when you exercise! My major problem is that exercising makes me extremely tired, and I HATE getting sweaty. Okay, and I have a sweet tooth that will. not. quit. 😀 Good luck on your goals!

May 24, 2012 | 3:29 pm

    Emmie Mears

    I don’t particularly like the sweaty part either, but I have a greater sense of well-being and energy when I exercise regularly. 🙂

    May 24, 2012 | 3:38 pm

Emma

Congrats on the award.

May 24, 2012 | 5:30 pm

Renae Rude-The Paranormalist

Great goals list, Emmie. I need to make a short, simple one too. It’s probably going to look a lot like yours 🙂

May 26, 2012 | 4:35 am

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