Today has been one of THOSE days.
I woke up feeling pretty rested, but by the time I walked the ten minutes to work in the sweltering sun, I was sweating. Then I got sprayed in the face with chemicals right at the end of my shift.
I’ve been expending energy like mad for the past few weeks. Frantically revising my manuscript, working on coordinating an ever-growing list of contributors for Searching for SuperWomen, vlogging, RPGing, comic book reading, social media-ing, and oh yeah — the day job.
Between all those things, I have worked 42 hours since Sunday, and my “work week” just started. I’m pretty exhausted mentally and physically. Worse, we’re struggling financially. A lot. We made the decision to go see family twice in five weeks (7 hours drive there and back), which cost us over a week’s income. It sucks when the choice is to visit people we love or stay current with our bills. I have a feeling that some hard decisions might be in our future, because as much as we’d love to get out of this apartment, unless something drastic changes with our finances, I don’t see it happening.
I realized today as I scrubbed my arms and face with soap to rid them of the burning chemicals that I am burning out. I’m essentially working three or more jobs, and two of them don’t pay. It’s a painful thing to admit. I don’t know what the solution is. I need a break and can’t afford to take one. I’ve been betting huge amounts of time on the idea that something I’m doing may start to turn around.
It’s one of those rather bleak days. I love a lot of what I’m doing — I just can’t keep up this level of frenetic pace for much longer. And I can’t keep living with the burden of financial stress every single day. Something’s gotta give. I’m just not sure where to go from here.
Maybe to take a nap.
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