Emmie Mears
SFF. Queer AF.

Frazzle Rock

Frazzle Rock Image

Frazzle Rock

StuckInCustoms, Perfect Morning, Glacier National Park

What I wouldn’t give to be on a crannog in the middle of that lake. Image by StuckInCustoms, creative commons license


Today has been one of THOSE days.

I woke up feeling pretty rested, but by the time I walked the ten minutes to work in the sweltering sun, I was sweating. Then I got sprayed in the face with chemicals right at the end of my shift.

I’ve been expending energy like mad for the past few weeks. Frantically revising my manuscript, working on coordinating an ever-growing list of contributors for Searching for SuperWomen, vlogging, RPGing, comic book reading, social media-ing, and oh yeah — the day job.

Between all those things, I have worked 42 hours since Sunday, and my “work week” just started. I’m pretty exhausted mentally and physically. Worse, we’re struggling financially. A lot. We made the decision to go see family twice in five weeks (7 hours drive there and back), which cost us over a week’s income. It sucks when the choice is to visit people we love or stay current with our bills. I have a feeling that some hard decisions might be in our future, because as much as we’d love to get out of this apartment, unless something drastic changes with our finances, I don’t see it happening.

I realized today as I scrubbed my arms and face with soap to rid them of the burning chemicals that I am burning out. I’m essentially working three or more jobs, and two of them don’t pay. It’s a painful thing to admit. I don’t know what the solution is. I need a break and can’t afford to take one. I’ve been betting huge amounts of time on the idea that something I’m doing may start to turn around.

It’s one of those rather bleak days. I love a lot of what I’m doing — I just can’t keep up this level of frenetic pace for much longer. And I can’t keep living with the burden of financial stress every single day. Something’s gotta give. I’m just not sure where to go from here.

Maybe to take a nap.


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Author | Emmie Comments | 4 Date | July 17, 2013

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I hope the nap helped. I know it helps me.

My advice: Unsubscribe to some things (email-wise). Unclutter your inbox and consolidate debt (if you can). These two things can relieve a lot of stress. It has helped me in the past and the present!

I’m sending good wishes your way.

July 17, 2013 | 8:43 pm


    Thanks, Nila!

    Our debt is already consolidated as much as it can be, my school loans are in their umpteenth forbearance…but the inbox thing is something I would really like to do.

    July 17, 2013 | 11:08 pm

Eric Weaver

I really don’t know you at all (only happened upon you on Twitter), yet after reading this I feel like I know your heart. It takes a strong person and a lot of courage to put yourself and your emotions out there in a world full of nasty boogery trolls, not knowing how people will respond. But you did.
Life gets f***ing stressful when you actually try to accomplish something and make something of yourself. There’s never enough time, never enough money, never enough f***ing donuts! But through it all, I believe in you, Emmie! (That sounds cheesy as hell but *shrugs* whatevs)

Anyway, hang in there (cliche). You’ve won me over. You had me at hello (wait, what?).

I got your back when the sharknado comes through.

July 18, 2013 | 9:56 pm


    I’d be honored to [SPOILER] blow up tornadoes [/SPOILER] with you.

    Thanks for stopping by Ye Olde Blog — I need to get back to blogging over here more. And thanks very much for the kind words. 🙂

    July 18, 2013 | 10:10 pm

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