Emmie Mears
SFF. Queer AF.

The Purple Llama

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The Purple Llama Image

The Purple Llama

When I was in high school, my best friend had a poster of tons of different smiley faces. Or more accurately, faces that showed different emotions. Then about 72 percent down the page, there was a picture of a purple llama.

Iiiinteresting. (Photo Credit: Unknown. If you know the source of this photo, do tell.)

The caption read: And now for something completely different…

So after a few days of getting down and dirty, I thought I’d give you a purple llama.

Not literally, though. I don’t actually have a purple llama to give except that photo above. Enjoy! (I do have a purple bruise though…story to follow.)

Instead, I will share a few pictures and thoughts from my weekend. I promise cute, I promise a bit of badassery, I promise untold riches.

I lied about that last one.

My husband and I spent the weekend in Toledo with his family. Aside from eating my weight in burgers and pudding shots, we got to see some great friends of ours and have a husky puppy playdate and some delicious Chinese food. I didn’t take pictures of the Chinese food.

Buffy also got to meet a Boston Terrier named Mia, who decided to slap her.

“I’m Buffy, and I turn the other cheek.”

Buffy recovered from this trauma.

Let’s go back in time to before the slap incident…Without further ado, I would like to introduce…VINNY!

“I’m Vinny, and I have taken Buffy’s wolf hostage. But I don’t know what a ransom is.”

Vinny is a three-month-old husky puppy and the new baby of our friends Steve and Colleen. He’s awfully cute. And smart.

“I’m Buffy, and today I get to play the role of the magnanimous Older and Wiser Puppy who lets Younger Flighty Puppy have my wolf. Besides, I have his moon.”

Buffy and Vinny had a great time romping about the yard, and I was surprised to see that she decided to be a great role model for little Vinny. She let him gnaw on her ears, bite her throat, and generally pester her. Though at one point she did bite back, and he flopped over on his back like a surprised turtle.

They got along swimmingly.

“We dare you not to die of cute.”

Oh, you want more, you say?

Vinny’s and Buffy’s first toys, respectively. Is it just me, or is there a theme here?

There’s more!

Colleen caught this gorgeous shot. Look at those pups.

Still want more?

I don’t know if you’re ready for this last one.

No, seriously. It almost killed me, and I live with one of them. Which means my Husky Cuteness Immunity Level is at +4, and you probably hover around 0 or +1.

Well, fine. If you’re sure. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

….the cute…….TURN IT OFF! I’M MELTING!!!!

Now that I’ve sufficiently melted your face off, here’s what else I did this weekend!

Just call me the target huntress.

My awesome brother-in-law James said he’d teach me how to shoot — and he did. James is the renaissance man of survival, fighting, and hunting, and he is also a phenomenal teacher. I managed to hit the target almost every time, and I had a couple tries where all five of my arrows clustered in the center. Rules.

And James caught a post-loose shot.

I may have found my calling.

I also learned a lesson the hard way — bows are instruments that contain an enormous amount of pressure, and when that string looses an arrow, it shoots forward with a burst of force.

If you don’t turn your elbow outward, that burst of force can come into contact with the sensitive skin of your inner arm.

Zombie bite, or unfortunate bowstring incident? Ask me in a couple days. If I’m picking brains out of my teeth, that should be a good answer.

No, it doesn’t hurt that much. Yes, it stung when it happened. But honestly, I’m rather proud of it. Even though I think a couple guests at the restaurant were wondering I got beaten up.

Aside from teaching me how to shoot a bow without turning my left arm into a magical rainbow, James also showed me some basic self-defense. Not only am I thrilled to have had the chance to bond with my brother-in-law, but I have solidified my desire to learn how to fight. And to get my pudding-shot loaded arse in better shape.

That didn’t come out right.

On that happy note, I will leave you with some more cuteness. Are you ready? Has your face grown back yet?

If two puppies can share a wolf, then so can you. Or, I mean, share something. With someone else. Yep.

How was your weekend, gentle viewers? What useful skills have you learned lately? Anyone want to run off into the wild with me?

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Author | Emmie Comments | 5 Date | July 10, 2012

comments

Kourtney Heintz

Love the huskies bonding. Sounds like a terrific trip to see family! Ouchie on the archery attack!

July 10, 2012 | 4:46 pm

tmso

Excellent! I competed in archery in college and never got back into it. I keep saying I will, but haven’t. Maybe this will be the year… 😉

Good shot, huntress. (And cute dogs. Husky are a lot of fun.)

July 10, 2012 | 9:41 pm

patriciasands

Way too cute pooch pics … the bruise, not so much. I took archery at university (and would love to remember why!) and do vividly recall the snap of that bowstring on my elbow. Thanks for sharing.

July 10, 2012 | 10:52 pm

livrancourt

I see a MC in your future who comes armed with a bow & arrow…

July 13, 2012 | 7:42 pm

neyska

Okay. I’m catching up on a long line of blog posts, which I will probably give up on, but this was cute as hell. Thanks for sharing. I love shooting a bow too. Sadly, I’m not a natural. 🙂

July 16, 2012 | 12:47 pm

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