Emmie Mears
SFF. Queer AF.

Through the Trees

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Through the Trees Image

Through the Trees

I haven’t felt well the last few days. Ever since the migraine, my body has ached all over as if a fever waited just over the horizon. Yesterday was my last day at my old job. I’m thankful for it for many reasons. It’s always nice when a decision is reinforced, and yesterday reminded me of many of the reasons I was leaving.

I had to Metro there and get up much earlier. I was a double yesterday, and I made very little money at lunch. (Think $14.) I then had a couple hours to kill, and after getting a little sunburned in the shade with my book, I decided to seek out a more sheltered place under some trees. I discovered a park several blocks away with nice grass, and I laid down there.

I’d planned to read or nap. My body betrayed me, the relief of the cool grass and the soft breeze lulling me into immobility, but not slumber. I spent almost two hours doing nothing more than being still and looking upward.

It struck me that our world so seldom does nothing. There were bouncing basketballs at times, and cars went by, but that little oasis of a park stayed quiet with only the rustle of leaves and swaying branches for accompaniment. So there I stayed, watching. Once a tiny vermilion finch flew overhead, the sun backlighting his wings and sketching every perfect detail.

I don’t know the last time I just sat in nature and enjoyed it. I was raised in a quasi-pagan home, and a love of nature and the earth was something that was gently impressed upon me every day, like the touch of a rubber stamp so often that the ink remains on your skin like a tattoo. It’s been a while. And yesterday, with my knees and muscles aching and feeling more aged than twenty-seven years, I made room in my heart again for the quiet awe that nature affords frail humans when she is in a peaceful mood. There are times for terrible fear of her might, but when she is calm, there is a soft felicity.

As I lay there staring upward, something began to change. The sun’s trajectory turned downward toward the horizon, and tiny shimmering lights appeared. At first I marveled at them, at how the light of the sun could create these shining orbs from small teardrop shapes filled with chlorophyll. Then I began to scrawl in a notebook, still gazing up, not watching the words hit the paper.

It feels almost like a poem, though I seldom write poetry. It just sort of…is.

The sun lit the leaves on the trees above
as if the woods had caught tight
the light of thousands of stars
and hung them on their branches.

Some hover still and stoic
burning bright as sun on metal;
others twirl and twinkle with the breeze.

Together they shine as fine
as any clear moonless night sky could conceive
and I know that were I to chase
the brightness and scale
the elm’s rough body
the stars would vanish
from the bower of branches,
and like pursuit of rainbow’s end
I would hold naught but leaves.

They will not be captured
only seen
as day’s shining stars.

Through the Trees

 

 

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Author | Emmie Comments | 20 Date | April 17, 2012

comments

Lisa Ann Hayes

Beautiful, Emmie.

April 17, 2012 | 10:19 am

    Emmie Mears

    Thanks, Lis!

    I got your email as well — so sorry you are dealing with that crap!

    April 17, 2012 | 4:03 pm

      Lisa Ann Hayes

      Thanks, Emmie. I’d rather not be, but I can’t afford to stick my head in the sand (even though I wanted to 🙂 ).

      April 17, 2012 | 4:40 pm

shayfabbro

That was gorgeous! I am one of those that spends quite a lot of time in nature marveling at the simplicity and complexity of it all.

April 17, 2012 | 10:39 am

    Emmie Mears

    I miss living in the mountains.

    April 17, 2012 | 4:02 pm

neyska

Those quiet moments are so rare. Glad you got to enjoy it. Lovely poem. 🙂

April 17, 2012 | 12:13 pm

Pedro Almeida Maia

Beautiful! What happened next?

April 17, 2012 | 12:51 pm

naiajones

Beautiful poem and nice photo! I smiled to see I’m not the only one taken by a moment of looking up at a tree in the afternoon sunlight.

April 17, 2012 | 2:46 pm

patriciasands

Lovely poem and photo and a very worthwhile few hours. Hopefully you will have more opportunities for that now. Have I missed something? Do you have another job lined up or are you on the search? I hope you are feeling better.

April 17, 2012 | 4:14 pm

    Emmie Mears

    I have a new job now — my last day at the old place was yesterday, and I had my first proper training shift today. Great atmosphere, quirky people, and a really casual environment. I feel kind of like a human being again. 😀

    April 17, 2012 | 4:19 pm

Elizabeth Fais

Doing *nothing* is so important for the soul. But our culture of workaholics frowns upon that practice. Thanks for the reminder, and the gorgeous poem!

April 17, 2012 | 5:46 pm

Julie Farrar

Lovely. Lovely.

April 17, 2012 | 6:43 pm

jodileastewart

Hi, fellow tree admirer! Several things I felt while reading your blog. One is that you’re a darned good writer. I also realized that I don’t know how long it has been since I just stayed quiet and still in the midst of God’s incredible creation. I also want to compliment your poem…I’m not a big lover of poetry, but I loved yours. Great job, Emmie.

April 17, 2012 | 7:20 pm

Kourtney Heintz

Lovely poem Emmie! I am so sorry to hear you’ve been under the weather. Hope you feel better soon. I agree. We don’t take time to be in nature. I miss being a kid and just hanging out in the yard and making up silly games to occupy my time. Or just sitting under a tree relaxing. We should make time for that even as adults.

April 17, 2012 | 9:31 pm

kellie larsen murphy

Love your stuff – sent you the Lucky 7 Award – see my post!

April 18, 2012 | 1:33 pm

corajramos

Beautiful post. I’m into looking up through the trees often as I can-great vantage point. Love to sit/lie still in nature and absorb the healing. Hope it helped. What do you mean you don’t write poetry? Very Touching.

April 18, 2012 | 4:52 pm

Joseph M Kurtenbach

Others have used the word but I don’t mind repeating it . . . Lovely.

April 19, 2012 | 1:59 am

Renae Rude-The Paranormalist

This is lovely, Emmie. And you’ve reminded me to take some time near a body of water on the next warm day. (That’s my preferred commune-with-nature spot.)

April 20, 2012 | 3:50 am

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