I know Wednesday is my Not A Post Day, but bust out your confetti cannons, because you get one anyway!
Last week, I discovered that the lovely Kana Tyler had given me an award! Due to a funtastic work schedule and St. Patty’s Day on the horizon, I didn’t have time to respond. So when I got a direct message on Twitter from Mike Schulenberg about being tagged in the Lucky Seven Meme, I thought to myself, “Self,” I thought, “you can get two squirrels with one slingshot today.” And then I marveled in my own cleverness for a while whilst contemplating the fact that I’m very much in need of a shower.
First things first! I was gifted with the TMI Award!
The TMI Blog Award honors those blogs that discuss everything in detail and do it well.
These bloggers aren’t afraid to discuss their most awkward, embarrassing, and intimate experiences with honesty, humor, and little to no filter.
Finally, an award for self-deprecation. I’m so excited!
The award dictates that I tell an embarrassing story. I have a wealth of those, so please allow me a moment to hem and haw before plunging into the red-faced past.
Hem. Haw. Hmmm.
I could tell you how last week at work I walked up to a couple people at one of my tables and asked, “How are you gentlemen doing tonight?” Before realizing as I choked on the g-word that the person to my left was in fact a woman, albeit a very skinny woman in a bulky vest with a very androgynous face. I’d just run up a flight of stairs, and I apologized in a heave of winded air and let out a panicked guffaw while trying to recover.
I never say gender-specific greetings when I approach tables, so I don’t have a clue what possessed my tongue at that moment. All I know is that a la Brian Regan, you just can’t come back from that one.
“Excuse me, sir?”
“Hello, human! Hi, person! Nice to meet you, individual!”
I think I’ll just start using that.
Or I could tell you how during my first week living in Poland, my roommate Chuck got the bright idea for us to take a short cut through a cemetery, cutting along the train tracks to get to the mall. As we neared the parking lot of a gas station, all that stood between us and the mall was a little blue fence with spikes all over the top.
Chuck hopped over. John hopped over. I hopped over — and as my foot hit a patch of water and slipped, my left leg came down impaled on one of the spikes. I landed on the other side with my calf pinned on the fence. Without getting too gory, all I can say is that I never wanted to know for sure that fat is yellow.
I could tell you about heaving puddles of pink vomit on Senior Skip Day to the point where one of my drunk classmates interviewed me with a stick to inquire after my health and the shade of puke. I could tell you about arriving to school in kindergarten with a “boy haircut” I’d loved until it saw the light of cruel children. I could tell you about asking a boy to a dance in eighth grade only to have him lie and say he wasn’t going — and then show up.
Oh, so many embarrassing stories. Suffice it to say that I’ve lived a life of blushing.
I’ve mostly survived, though, and it takes a lot to embarrass me now. Though yesterday I got fairly uncomfortable when a customer responded to my “Is there anything else I can get for you?” with “Just give me a minute to worship you.”
Awkward. <– My tagline.
This award requires also that I tag a few others who like to share themselves with the world, warts and all. (I don’t reckon we actually have warts. Maybe one or two. I don’t have any, just so you know.)
So without further ado, here are some great bloggers who aren’t afraid to let it all hang out and give you what for. These are people I respect for their authenticity, even if they can be occasionally provocative!
This isn’t a full list, but these were the immediate names that came to mind. Have fun, folks! 🙂
The next thing I’m on to is the Lucky Seven Meme, sent my way by Mike Schulenberg.
Here are the rules:
1. Go to page 77 of your current MS/WIP
2. Go to line 7
3. Copy down the next 7 lines, sentences, or paragraphs, and post them as they’re written.
4. Tag 7 authors, and let them know.
I like this. I think it could be fun. I like it even more because I’m a fan of the seven lines I get to share with you from the third book of my trilogy. Ready? Here they are:
They found a pub open on the outskirts of town where patrons sat glued to the television.
The screen showed a city burning, and Elaine’s heart clenched in her chest.
The bartender looked over at them as they entered, his dark eyes hooded, absently wiping the same patch of bar over and over. He made no move to greet them, but he looked back to the television, to the unknown city in flames.
There. That’s nice and fun, no? And though with the formatting of the blog it’s a few more lines, I assure you in the manuscript it’s seven. Scout’s honor.
So now for the seven bloggers to tag…ready?
Alrighty, everyone! Mush!
Have fun! 🙂
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