My first year at university, we were all required to take a course called Freshman Year Integration and choose a subset of the course for the semester. I chose the course entitled “Who Are You Really?”
As if any eighteen-year-old could answer that question in eighteen weeks.
Regardless, it’s a question that still percolates inside my head nine and a half years later.
And who else should I discuss it with but you, gentle viewers?
I think that most humanoid critters that flutter about this earth have a dual representation of Self.
There’s the Outer You, which is what the world sees.
You can deal with reconciling this You with your Inner You if you want, but today I’m more concerned with the Inner You.
The Inner You is who you are at the depths of your Youness.
Deal with the language. I took a philosophy class once.
The Inner You is who you are when you are alone in your own mind. It’s the colors that paint your thoughts. It’s the images you see that form the walls of your soul. It’s what you look like to yourself and the archetypical essence of your passions given form.
Wow, Emmie. You are talking out your arse today.
Yep. But bear with me.
We all need those romanticized pictures of ourselves. I think in some way it spurs us on to do, to live, to create. To evolve.
Today I’m inviting you into my mind, to see what happens within the curves of my skull.
Ready? Dive in.
If you couldn’t tell from my hair, I’ve got red in me. Red is a color of passion. Love, lust, anger. It’s a color of movement and flame. I may be a water sign, but there’s always been a lure in fire.
This has been my favorite color since I was a child. It immediately brings water to the forefront, and water is the most powerful element on our planet. Anyone who has ever seen the Columbia River Gorge (and of course the Grand Canyon) can attest to both the carving force and the slow manipulation that water can create. Water is a fluid analogy for what is possible — both brute force and slow molding have their uses and finesse. Not to mention its power over life and death.
If there’s a color on this rock to represent the vibrancy of life, it’s green. It’s the earth in motion. It signals rebirth and creation, the dawn of a new year.
If you could venture inside my head, you’d see a night studded with stars and glowing gems lining a wooded path. That’s where I go when all is still.
Where do you go?
Here’s where I get to get really embarrassed. Because I’m about to show you the me I carry around, and it’ll probably look rather silly to anyone who’s not me.
When I first went to Scotland, I had this absurd image in my head of me running barefoot through the highlands, red hair streaming behind me. It’s absurd because if you know me, you’d know that running and Emmie are like, non-mixy things. I get shin splints. I have asthma. Running to me is torture.
I love the idea of it, the freedom of it.
Picture it here.
And while we’re on the subject, imagine that you could make a world where the sky looked like this:
There’s sorcery. There’s fighting and archery. My brain is full of many things, gentle viewers.
Who knows what happens to all of it? Who knows what happens to the Inner You if the world never sees it? It might vanish into the ether.
Or perhaps when oblivion arrives to steal us silently away, we become our Inner Self.
Perhaps we need to bring our Inner Selves out into the Outer World more often, even if it makes us feel silly.
If you feel like seeing more Emmie images, feel free to visit my Pinterest boards and peruse to your little heart’s content.
What do you think, gentle viewers? Who’s your Inner You?
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