This week hasn’t seen me at my best.
My husband and I recently finished watching Dollhouse. One of the lines the actives (dolls) say often throughout the show is this: “I try to be my best.”
And they do. The actives work out, eat well, do yoga, paint pictures, build tiny trees, and meditate. Of course, they’re effectively lobotomised, but for the capacity they have, they try to be their best.
With October here and the Run For Your Lives a mere three and a half weeks away, I’m wondering if I’ve been my best — or even if I’m trying to be my best. During times of stress and difficulty, how do we keep training for the coming zombies?
It’s not an uncommon problem. People often try and make a lifestyle change for spurts, and in between revert to habit. Habit, that nasty bloodsucking bunny from hell.
Before you say, “I soiled me armour over a bleeding bunny?” try and think of the last time you tried to lose weight. Did you get some of the weight off only to gain it right back? Or did it just stubbornly refuse to budge from your middle and thighs until you said, “Sod it. Gimme some chips?”
For me it’s both. I’ve gone through periods where I stick to a fitness routine like King Arthur to his trusty pair of coconuts. Other times, I burn myself out so much that pretty soon a pair of minstrels start running behind me and singing, “Brave Sir Emmie ran away. Bravely ran away, away! When training reared its ugly head, she bravely turned her tail and fled! Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Emmie!”
Training for the zombie apocalypse can be tough without erm, zombies.
When life starts happening — and you know how much life adores happening — it’s easy to forget that the zombies haven’t arrived yet. Your neighbours are still too human to shoot for any legitimate reason (and no, blasting their music at all hours of the night is largely not considered legitimate by legal entities), the bloke over there with a hacking cough is not about to die and reanimate, and most likely the lad who looks half-dead isn’t.
It makes the whole situation seem a wee bit less urgent.
So how do you keep momentum when you’ve got a hundred problems/life situations/ingrown toenails/double rainbows that distract you from zombie-proofing yourself?
It’s not easy. But here are a few of my tips.
The best thing you can do to ensure your preparation for the zombie apocalypse is to surround yourself with other ZAP Warriors. And the wonderful ZAP Warmaster Anna Meade and I (your friendly neighbourhood ZAP Battle Chieftain) are gearing up to help you do just that.
Until then, we’ve discussed something we could do for fun, to help stay motivated and help quantify the results you’re getting from your ZAP training.
Our bodies are our biggest weapons — so we’re asking you to show us your guns. About a month from now, I’ll ask you to send us a picture of you showing off your biceps. It’s optional, of course, and you can opt to be anonymous or show your face — but I hope you’ll join in. ZAP Warriors are strong, committed, and crazy enough to do this thing.
To help you prep, here’s something silly that I do to erm…polish up my guns.
I use 3-5 pound weights and turn on some bouncy music that I normally wouldn’t care to listen to. From there, weights in hand, I get my groove on in the privacy of my own home. Try some small jabs forward. Flies. Curls. Presses. All in time with the music. Not only will it tone your arms, but it’ll get your heart pumping as well. Not a dancer? Who cares? No one’s watching.
That’s just my two cents.
How do you polish your guns? What exercises help tone your arms for optimum zombie-smiting ability?
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